The Bottle Monster Attack

Mom and Dad! You've got to help me. That G has a new weapon she's using on me!!!! She calls it a "water bottle" but you guys know I like water and THIS I do NOT like! I've been very sad since Coco ran away and have added a few activities to bring me solace. You know how G's been sick the whole time I've known her? Well, when she's feeling really bad she gets in the bed and covers up with lots of blankets and makes a nice warm cave for me to play in. She has a box of tissues next to her and she puts them up to her nose and makes this horrible noise with it. I can't make that noise when I put my nose in a tissue so it must be some sort of special talent she has developed. The first few times she made the noise I ran as far from her as I possibly could but now I'm use to it. Anyhoo - I found out I could sneak out while she wasn't looking and go to her "used" box and snitch one and go hide and tear it into 8 gazillion pieces. What fun! (Don't ask me why but the tissues are only able to make the noise once and then get put in the used box.) The first time G found my stash of shredded tissue, she wasn't as appreciative as I thought she should be - after all, if I take them then she doesn't have to take them to the bigger box in the kitchen and then take that box out to the even bigger box at the road (another story for another time) which every now and then a really big box on wheels comes and steals the stuff in the box at the road. (Can you tell me why, I'm not allowed in the road? G has a fit when I get near it which, of course, just makes me want to do it even more.)

SO - G came home yesterday with this so called water bottle. She would act like she wasn't watching and when I would scoot out to get a tissue, she held up that thing and something came out and hit me in the face! How RUDE! Then it vanished. I couldn't even attack it to defend myself cause it just went poof and all that was left was a little bit of water on my face. After a few tries, I became very wary of the bottle thingy and when G left the room I attacked it. G came back to see what the noise was and SHE FELL DOWN LAUGHING! So now I watch very carefully before attempting my tissue raids. That bottle monster has MY respect if not my total dislike.

Hey, are you EVER gonna write me?

Love and kisses from your sweet and innocent daughter, Willow
(G's laughing as I dictate that - she's got a lot of nerve!)