Would you look at this?

Just hours after posting about Willow chewing trash, she jumped in my lap with the lipstick that is laying down in the picture. The other one is one she presented on Sunday. What the heck is wrong with that dog???? This is the 4th lipstick she's killed. I am doing everything the books say to do and she's gone nuts. BTW - I put her in her crate and ignored her and didn't take a 2x4 to the monster like my first urge told me to do. What am I going to do????

Can a Dog Committ Suicide?

Hi Allie and Oscar, this is G. Can you explain this dog of yours to me??? She has a fascination with garbage. She likes to go through garbage and shred it into tiny pieces. She's also very sneaky about it because she knows I don't want her to do it. She also likes to get things that isn't trash and make it into trash. She's driving me nuts.

The reason for the question - up until know she has had an iron stomach and none of this has hurt her. This weekend I was cleaning out a cabinet that I haven't been into in a while and somehow a pan that had gotten put away still had something in it. Chocolate truffles. YUCK. It had wax paper over it and under it so I threw the furry mess in the garbage bag. I tied it up and threw it away in the garbage can that was out of the monkey's reach. I continued cleaning and didn't notice that Willow was quiet. I found her inside of the garbage bag that she had somehow gotten out of the trash can and torn open. She has been hyper and had diarrhea. Fortunately not a lot. She didn't eat much of the stuff so she's going to be ok. HOWEVER, what about next time? I really don't want to take my garbage outside all the time but I may have to do it to keep her alive.

I want to teach her not to do this but so far nothing is working. She gets lots of exercise and has lots to entertain her so she's not board. She actually does better when I'm not home and I'm home more than away from home. She's not lonely. Any ideas?

New Talent

Mom and Dad,

I think I told you before that I can't really type so I have to tell G what to put in here for me. Anyway, I learned how to use the computer tonight. Really!

G was washing dishes (which she wouldn't have to do if she let me clean them!) and had left her laptop open. I went over to smell it and I pushed buttons and it made the screen change. It was so much fun! G was so surprised to come over and find out that I knew how to 1- connect to the internet, 2- make something called "search" come up on the screen and 3- type something in to look up. Too bad that I haven't learned how to spell.

Your genius daughter,
Willow

Note from G: she came real close to spelling something - she typed ok jht. She could have found out about Oklahoma if she had just stopped soon enough.

Innocent

G says she's going to change my name to PIB (aka Pain in Bottom). It was an accident and anyway how was I supposed to know I could jump that high???

G came home and I greeted her as I always do, with joy and adulation. I have to let her know how much I love her right? Sometimes she tricks me by being gone for less that 5 minutes but I greet her with energy and vigor anyway. I know she doesn't want me to jump on her and really this is the only time I HAFTA do it so I was doing my normal jump, wiggle, squirm, repeat routine and then it happened. I jumped so high that I nipped G's nose! Can you believe that?? We were both surprised but G couldn't decide whether to be proud of me for jumping that high or to knock me into next week. Before she could decide, I quickly settled down so she wouldn't remember what I did. I think it worked, but just in case . . . I need an alibi . . .

4th

Happy Fourth of July to EVERYBODY!

Note from G

Guys, this dogs is nuts. I've worked and worked with her to do some of the basic training move and she may or may not do them. If it meets her approval, of course. The one command she almost always ignores is "come". Today I found a way to make her "come" - EVERY TIME.

I've got a cold. (See my blog) Today I have spent most of the day blowing my nose. I'm not very quiet about it. I think nasty gunk that becomes infected should be expelled as quickly as possible. After a few times I noticed that the nut comes every time I blow my nose. She wants to steal the tissue and shred it to smithereens. I keep telling her it's nasty and gross and NO she doesn't want it but she as actually stolen a couple. So, I guess the next time she escapes from me, I just need to honk my nose to get her to "come". I don't know who's crazier, me or Willow.

Reporting from NC

Mom and Dad,

First I have to tell you how I fooled Gramama. She has these really tasty shoes and when I ate the second shoe she started putting her shoes up on a shelf where I can't get to it. I only like this one kind of shoe and leave all of her other shoes alone which really puzzles G. Gotta keep her on her toes, you know? Well, last night I was able to sneak her shoes and hide them. I won't tell G how I got them or where I put them and G was very perturbed today when she was looking for her shoes so she could go to church. Instead of staying home with me like she should have, she put on another pair of shoes and went anyway. Bummer. Still it was pretty cool hiding her shoes.

Tonight when she got home, she wasn't sounding quite right. Her voice was all funny and she said her throat hurt. Poor G! I felt sorry for her so I brought out one of the shoes. Wasn't that nice of me to share? I hadn't chewed on them yet, just licked the lining a little bit. A few hours later, she was making funny noises and blowing her nose a lot and really sounded funny. It's not her voice anymore! So I went and brought her the other shoe. She's really snugly right now. She's warmer than normal so I cuddle up real close.

One last thing - you should have warned me about NC's summer thunderstorms. They are S-C-A-R-Y as all get out. (I'm a southern girl now so I use cute expression like that.) When it rains really hard it sounds like the house is going to float away, not to mention the thunder actually shakes the house. Whew.